Instant gratification

It is amazing what people will do to look or feel good now with no concern for long term consequences. I asked a friend what she does to keep her fingernails looking so good. (8 of mine look good, but two seems to split and never get as long as the other 8.) She said “gel.”-That’s a substance put on natural nails that hardens and is shaped. I told her that chemicals can weaken nails and cause real problems later. She said, “I don’t care.”

I began to think of the things we will do to our bodies that make us look or feel good now, but have serious negative consequences long term.  4 or 5 inch heels make legs look good, but also can cause serious foot damage and pain in the long term. We overeat things that aren’t healthy, get fat and risk diabetes and heart problems. Then we prefer the instant gratification of sitting while the fat settles in instead of exercising to preserve our health. Others of us go on unhealthy diets for the instant gratification of rapid weight loss, which then replenishes itself quickly. We continue the YoYo and throw off our metabolism.  I won’t mention smoking, drinking too much or medicating ourselves with feel good drugs.  As I think about it, I wonder why so many of us are  willing to abuse our bodies.

As a new year begins in a little less than two weeks, I suggest that  those who have been abusing our bodies in order to look or feel good now,  take the time to contemplate  why we are willing to risk our health and perhaps change course.

I wonder what would happen if  we decided instead to respect our bodies and give up some instant gratification in exchange for long term health and well being.   The irony of the situation is that we will actually look and feel better if we gave up the temporary  gratification and focus on the genuine gratification of a strong vital healthy body.

The first step is to make the decision for physical and mental health, and well being.  Once we make that decision we will naturally gravitate towards those activities that put us on the path that leads to that goal.  Education, awareness and commitment  all can be motivators, but the primary motivator is the desire to respect, care for and make the most of our  magnificent mind and body .  All things flow from that.

Sleepy People Overeat

A Columbia University study suggests that people who get too little sleep tend to overeat and also make unwise food choices.

Marie-Pierre St-Onge, PhD, and colleagues at New York Obesity Research Center came to that conclusion after an experiment in a controlled setting.
They found that those who slept fewer hours ate an average of 300 calories a day more than those who were not short on sleep.

Most of those extra calories came from fat, especially saturated fat.( An extra 300 calories a day will put on a pound of fat in 12 days.)

Women were especially vulnerable to overeating when sleepy and were more likely to choose fatty foods. (Does ice cream count here?) But men also tended to choose the same amount of fat.

When people are awake more hours, they have more time to eat, but the reachers said that little of the extra eating took place in the evening.

“Our data show that reducing sleep increases energy and fat intakes, which may explain some of the association observed between sleep and obesity,” St-Onge and colleagues conclude. “If sustained, the dietary choices made by individuals undergoing short sleep would predispose to obesity and increased risk of cardiovascular disease.”

St-Onge and colleagues presented their findings at the American Heart Association’s Nutrition, Physical Activity and Metabolism/Cardiovascular Disease Epidemiology and Prevention conference, held March 22-25, 2011 in Atlanta.

The experience I have had with weight control clients
suggests that overweight people, whether sleepy or not, do overeat in the evenings.

To use a cliche that makes no sense “To kill two birds with one stone,” you can use hypnotic techniques for both weight control and to get more sleep. The real question is what kind of a person would want to kill birds with a stone??

For help with either condition go to www.DrBee.com

BELIEFS

Between 2003 and 2007 I wrote a bi-monthly column for the golf page of the Monterey County Herald. The golf page is gone, but the articles remain in my computer–but they have too many good ideas for golfers to keep them to myself–so I am sharing them them in several forms–periodically in this blog–or all at once in a Journal format that can be downloaded. Go to the golf order page on DrBee.com

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN OR YOU THINK YOU CAN’T, YOU’RE RIGHT
Henry Ford

Pay attention to what you think and what you say. As you examine your thoughts and statements, what do they say about your beliefs? It is possible to change beliefs, which will then change expectations and then behavior and thus results. Some common beliefs: “I’ve got all the shots.” “Sports build character.” “Tiger’s playing–we’re all playing for second.” “When I’m playing my best I can beat anyone.” “I’m an athletic person.” “” I’m a small person and can never get the distance others get.” “I’m getting older, my game’s deteriorating.” ” I’ve never been very coordinated. “

What do you believe about yourself that impacts your performance? Whether that belief was true at one time does not matter. Eventually, “Any lie repeated often enough becomes the truth.” Since what you believe will become your reality, how have your beliefs impacted your game?

It is important to reinforce beliefs that have a positive impact and change those beliefs that have a negative impact on your game. This may take some practice but can be done. For a while you may think that you are kidding yourself, but before long, you will notice a change in your behavior, as the new beliefs become your reality.

For example, I had deeply ingrained belief that I was non-athletic. This belief came from my childhood. I rarely participated in sports because I was so “uncoordinated” and was always the last kid chosen for any team in P.E. As an adult, I finally decided to learn to play tennis, but never got any farther than low “B” proficiency. When I took an interest in golf, my non-athletic belief lowered my expectations of playing well. I was happy to be on the course and enjoy the outdoors and the social aspects of the game. One day I took charge of my mind and decided to change a life long belief and declare that I am indeed athletic. As I created the athletic imagery my subconscious immediately changed my swing into one resembling a decent golfer. As of that moment I could feel a physical change in my body and I was able to get more distance with every club. The athletic belief transferred to my tennis game and it improved also. Now when I play either game I am much more confident and comfortable. The statement “I am athletic” is part of my preshot routine. My subconscious then gives me what I believe in and ask for.

You can change your beliefs to change your physical and mental abilities. You can even change the belief that the ability to perform necessarily declines with age. It is true that physical stamina naturally deteriorates, as golfers become senior golfers. However, if you are a senior golfer, you can adopt and reinforce beliefs that that will keep you strong and vigorous longer. The belief that “I am exceptionally strong, vigorous, and energetic combined with the appropriate visualization exercises will make a noticeable difference in your game and the quality of your life. Believe in what you do want, not what you fear is.

TO DO: Sit quietly, close your eyes and breath slowly to relax. When relaxed, ask your subconscious mind what are my beliefs that hinder me? What beliefs benefit me? Modify
your beliefs through self-hypnosis. Copyright, ©, 2003, Dr. Bee Epstein-Shepherd

THOUGHTS ON THE U.S. OPEN

How is it that a 22 year-old can play an almost perfect game?  It looked easy.  Rory McIllroy stepped up to the ball went through a brief routine and sent the ball to his target.

It would seem logical that players who have had years on tour and played in hundreds of tournaments over the years would have a huge edge in terms of experience.  Actually that’s the problem. More experienced players have a vast subconscious storehouse of old errors, failures and disappointments that can haunt them as they play.

I recently got a call from a former state champion who was battling a bad case of chipping yips. Whenever she hit the ball short, she became anxious, and by the time she was over the ball was almost panicked, guaranteeing a shank.  Her story is typical of recreational and professional golfers alike who develop yips or other problems after years of excellent play.  Invariably the origin of the problem is an error at a crucial time that causes embarrassment or a loss. One of my professional clients missed a short put to give up the 1981 Women’s Open.  The result—putting issues only on Bermuda grass.   The problem gets worse and worse over time.  No it won’t go away with more practice, because the problem doesn’t show up on the range or practice green—only in competition when it counts.

Back to Rory.  First he is 22.  Recent research has shown that the brain is not mature until after the age of 25, so Rory still has some of the fearlessness and confidence of youth.  He is not dwelling on his errors, which is a trait of those who obsess over mechanics and are constantly fiddling with their swing.  One of my clients won the U.S. Amateur at the age of 19, qualified for a PGA tour event at 21 and won it.  He was focused on having fun rather than hoping to win.  Then he started to work on his game even more seriously.  The harder he worked on his swing and putting, the tighter he became, and gradually his game deteriorated.

My hope for Rory is that he keeps the fearlessness. freshness  and the game he brought to the Open. My hope for golf is that he brings back the excitement that has seeped out of the game in the past couple of years.

 

IGNORE THE ERRORS

I got a call from a Tour Player.  He was respectably high on the money list in 2001 but his in 2002 performance did not assure him exempt status for 2003.    He told me that he “had the game.”  Actually, every touring pro has the game to win on any particular day.  Witness Kevin Sutherland.  When he won the 2002 World MatchPlay Championship he was ranked #64 in a field of 64, yet he put away six opponents in match play for this unexpected  win.

Back to my client.  We discussed mental errors in detail, and I began to work on his “plan for positive action. “ He called about an hour after our initial interview.  “I forgot to mention something very important that I need to work on,” he said.  “I shanked four times on tour last year.”  He didn’t say, “I have a problem with shanking,” he said, “four times.” He counted and remembers each shank.  Mental laws say, “Measure for it and it shows up.” Tiger measures for wins, some players measure for money, others measure for making the cut.  What do you measured for when you play?

This client measured for shanks.  I asked him how many tournaments he played.   He said, “31.”  I asked how many rounds he played, he said, “Oh, about 90.”  I asked about his scoring average. “70.84, “he said.  That meant that he hit about 6,000 balls and shanked four.  Subtracting putts, he had about 3,000 opportunities to shank, but only produced four, for one seventh of one percent of his shots.  Shanks were on his mind.  His more than four eagles were not on his mind nor were his more than four 20-foot putts for birdie.  He thought only of his errors.  His greatest error is an error in thinking.  Whatever one dwells upon grows, as anyone with yips or first tee jitters will tell you that.  What do you dwell upon?

TO DO: Notice and jot down what you pay attention to and count when you play.

1.  Whenever you think of a poor shot, immediately switch your thoughts to your last good shot.

2.  Instead of fearing a shank, expect to hit the club’s sweet spot.

3.  Put things into perspective.  An occasion shank does not a shanker make

Copyright © Dr. Bee Epstein-Shepherd  2003

THE CHOCOLATE DIET

There’s the Grapefruit Diet, the Cabbage Soup Diet, the Cookie Diet, just to mention a few that rely on one food as the key to weight control.  Now I offer you the Chocolate Diet.  I learned this from my mother indirectly and have modified it.

When I was growing up, people did not focus on weight control the way we do now. There were far fewer overweight people, and we had very little knowledge of the effect of various types of food on our health.

My mother weighed 110 lbs.  forever. She was never, never  ”on a diet..”   She had, however, developed an eating pattern.  Her breakfast consisted of grapefruit, two soft boiled eggs and a piece of rye toast-with real sweet butter.  Lunch was build upon yoghurt or cottage cheese fruit, perhaps tuna, and such things as cucumber or green bean salad.  I remember her often indulging in a  pastry or a piece of rich cake in the afternoon,  She even topped her coffee with real whipped cream.  Dinner was meat, potatoes and a vegetable.  Her after dinner snack was an apple.

My  mother did keep a chocolate stash.  No milk chocolate Hershey Kisses or Milky Ways or M & M’s.  Her stash consisted of good European dark chocolate.  Here is the amazing part to me. She limited herself to one piece a day.  That was it.  She just said, “A little is enough for me.”

I, on the other hand, was never satisfied with one piece.  Two might do it, but it was usually three.  I never had the self control around food that my mother had. No wonder I was a heavy teenager who struggled with weight and went on a deprivation diet during my senior year in college.   And thus my interest in weight control.

Now to the Chocolate diet:   I have been helping people with weight control since publishing my program, “Free Yourself From Diets” in 1994.  I do not believe in deprivation and diets that rely on prepared foods, special drinks, powders  and bars that you purchase from “the company.”  There are many of them.  I believe in learning about good nutrition and developing eating patterns that are healthy, and that you can maintain wherever you may be (Jenny Craig on a cruise?? No thanks), and that you can maintain all your life.

Last year, after returning from my week at Rancho La Puerta , (www.Rancholapuerta.com)  I surveyed my stash of dark chocolate.  Yes, I was still eating about three pieces a day.  I said to myself, “I wonder what it would feel like to be satisfied after only one piece?”  Since I use hypnosis to support my clients’ weight loss, I knew it would be possible to be completely satisfied with one piece–so I decided  to make appropriate hypnotic suggestions to myself.  The first thing that amazed me was that I bypassed my chocolate stash altogether.  I just didn’t have an interest in chocolate.  It’s hard to believe, but it is possible, and it did happen.  After about 6 weeks, I felt like having chocolate.   I reminded myself that my intent was to limit myself to one piece a day,  so I had one piece.  I was satisfied.  Now almost a year later, I am still satisfied after one piece.

I have been incorporating the concept of being satisfied into my weight control programs.  Now even when working with the new modification of my program by adding Virtual (Hypnotic) Gastric surgery, I focus on the “no deprivation” concept for getting rid of weight.

So here’s an outline of the Chocolate Diet.

Small portions of healthy foods, exercise, and one piece of chocolate (or 1/4/cup of Hagendaz ) a day.  Yes, you probably do need more information and hypnotic support to make this work for you.  But it’s a lot better than what you have tried in the past.

Go to my website www.DrBee.com for much more information. And let me know how this works for you.

What are we afraid of?

I am amazed at how many people are not willing to feel better by neutralizing negative emotions or giving up a destructive habit. It is possible for us to change behavior and have a sense of well-being–if we are only willing to. That will lead to taking positive action to change. The fastest, easiest, and undoubtedly least expensive way to create change is through hypnosis.

In the past few weeks I have had three clients who were actually afraid to feel better. One client is in my Virtual Gastric Surgery weight control program. She has been trying one program after another that is supposed to get rid of weight, from Weight Watchers to working with a therapist, a dietician and now finally as a “last resort” (see my previous posting.) working with me.

When we used hypnosis to explore her issues, it turned out that a part of her really wants to stay overweight. Now we must  convince that part that being a healthy size and shape is desirable. Hypnosis will help that part finally let go of the weight and embrace health.

Another client is consumed with guilt over past events which she claims are her fault. (They are not her fault.) I asked her, ” If you were able to continue with your current very constructive behavior, would you be willing to let go of beating yourself up over what you have labeled ‘mistakes’ ?” (They weren’t mistakes) Her answer was “No.” A part of her needed to continue beating herself up.

The third client who came to me with several issues saw marked improvement in one condition in only one hypnotic session with me,  but still suffered a great deal of discomfort with a different issue. Even after experiencing the power of hypnosis to improve his life, he is hesitating moving forward to eliminate his bigger problem. I wonder why he wants to continue to suffer?

Is there something in your life that isn’t working for you or creating some kind of suffering. What is keeping you from creating feelings of peace and well-being? Let’s explore this. Dr. Bee 831-625-3188

Why am I a “Last Resort”

I collect testimonials from my clients. Often the client says something like “I turned to hypnosis as a last resort.” These clients are amazed by how quickly their issues are resolved. For example, one client had a medical condition involving esophageal spasms that sent him to the emergency room on numerous occasions. He consulted various specialists over a 25 year period. His testimonial starts out “As a last resort…_ Well one long hypnotic session with me took care of the problem.

Margaret suffered from a serious urinary condition. None of the specialists she consulted over 9 years, or her therapists could either diagnose or help. She said, “As a last resort…. And of course I am the last resort, because 90% of the time, the problem is resolved with hypnotic techniques in a few hours. A teacher suffered from insomnia for over 20 years and again consulted specialists and even went to a well respected sleep clinic before hypnotherapy. Again one session resolved it.

Another client sent a testimonial that said she was a different person. And over a period of a year or so, I watched as her career took off. She said she resented all the time and money she put into therapy when her four hour session with me was so much more effective.

I would never say “don’t go for therapy” because there is a legitimate time and place and use for psychotherapy. But sometimes the last resort should be the “first resort.”

Hypnosis with the right hypnotherapist works quickly and effectively and is far less costly in time and money than standard treatments for many conditions. If you think you have tried everything, and nothing has brought you the relief you want, you probably have not tried everything–you have not tried hypnosis. Go to my website www.DrBee.com for more information.

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